


Secrets Hurt The Team

by ipanicked



Category: Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Crying, Drinking to Cope, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jealousy, M/M, Men Crying, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 22:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipanicked/pseuds/ipanicked
Summary: Ryland comes home early from Ash's





	Secrets Hurt The Team

Alex slips into the apartment quietly. 

Well as quietly as he could while being hammered. 

He stumbles his way to the kitchen counter, leaning over the sink. His tears drip into a dirty bowl. Most likely used for cereal or microwave ramen. 

He pulls out his phone.

No New Messages

That isn't surprising, Ryland almost never checked up on him. 

Besides, he was at Ash's anyways.

He's been spending a lot of time there lately. 

Which okay, that hurt. A lot. But what are you gonna do, 

Besides cry, that is.

He knows he's pathetic. 

Crying over a crush like this. 

It's not even like they're dating. 

He's just...jealous.

Alex's face contorts into a scowl as more tears cascade down his cheeks. 

So fucking pathetic. 

"Alex?"

His body freezes.

Ryland?

Sure enough, there he is, in a pair of boxers and an old, faded t-shirt. 

His hair is down, some of the strands sticking to his face as he rubs his eye.

Damn, he's so pretty it's almost unfair. 

Alex looks back at the sink, watching his knuckles turn white as he grips the counter top. 

Okay, it's completely unfair.

When did Alex fall so hard? 

Ryland grew closer. 

"What are you doing up so late man? Thought you were a burglar."

Alex scoffs and mumbles.

"Like anyone would wanna steal our stuff.."

He tries to control the slur in his voice. Getting caught crying was bad enough, he didn't want Ryland to see how much he's had. 

Although, it wouldn't be the first time. 

At least he doesn't have to throw up again.

Ryland reaches up, placing a hand on the other's shoulder. 

"You ok bud?" 

Wow, Ryland actually acknowledging his feelings. Now that's surprising. 

No, it's unfair of him to think like that. Alex is just being mean. 

"All good,"

He offers a shaky thumbs up. 

Ryland ignores it. 

"You've been crying, I can tell." 

He wants to scream or yell or something. 

What do you care?

All you ever care about is Ash. 

But no, that's...wrong. He's not allowed to get angry at someone for living their life. 

So instead he bites his tongue. 

"Come sit on the couch with me," 

Alex swallows but stays put. 

"Lexi,"

Alex sobs, practically collapsing on himself. 

You have no right. No right to call me that. 

But I can't help but love it every time you do. 

Ryland quickly wraps his arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.

That's almost the worst thing out of this whole mess.

Ryland has never been big on affection so to see him try for Alex causes the cracks in his heart to run even deeper. 

"I don't like seeing you cry."

I don't like seeing you pretend to care.

"I thought you were at A-Ash's?"

Ryland sighs into Alex's shoulder softly.

"I came home early."

Well, obviously. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing,"

Ryland hugs him even tighter and Alex can feel his belly pressing into his back, his large hands holding his chest.

How would it feel to be under him? To be held down by his weight or strength. 

How would it feel to be fucked by him? To be under his control? 

Jesus, he really didn't need to go down that rabbit hole again. 

He really didn't need to get a boner right now.

The situation's already humiliating enough. 

"I know you're lying."

Ryland's deep voice rumbles through Alex's core like an erupting volcano.

"Are you fucking Ash?"

The words slip out before he can stop it.

He wants to cut his tongue out or bury himself alive. 

Ryland's grip softens.

"W-What?" 

Then Ryland's just...He's laughing. 

Alex can feel his head pounding.

"Out of all the things you've said, that's gotta be the craziest."

Alex tries to wiggle out of his grip but Ryland readjusts it so that he's trapped. 

"Why do you think that I'm fucking Ash?"

Alex mentally curses himself. 

The last thing he wants is to have this conversation.

Curse his stupid brain to mouth filter. 

"Alex, you're not going anywhere till you talk to me,"

"Why do you care?"

Ryland sighs.

"Dude,"

Alex cuts him off.

"No, why do you care? Why do you want to know? I mean I basically got my answer so now we can go to sleep and forget this ever happened."

Ryland shakes his head and Alex can feel his hair brushing against his neck. He hopes Ryland doesn't notice how red his face is. 

"You're being ridiculous. Besides, why do you care what me and Ash do? If we were like that why would it matter?"

Alex dodges the question with a question of his own.

"You're not?"

"No, man. She likes Sam, I mean I thought that was pretty obvious. And I like- Well not her." 

Alex sniffles quietly.

"Then why do you spend so much time over there?"

"She needs a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to. She texts me, I go over there, She gets drunk and talks to me about her problems while she cries. I respond and try to comfort her. Then I come home, that's literally all that happens."

You've never done that for me..

Although to be fair, Alex has never been one to openly talk about his problems like that. Too afraid of getting rejected he guesses. 

And besides, Ryland's doing it now, and that's what really matters. 

Ryland's voice enters his train of thought. 

"Why are you so bothered by it?"

Alex bites his lip, going over his options.

"Secrets hurt the team, Alex." 

That's it. That's all it took to tear down all his walls and resolve. Granted, it's not much, but it's still something. 

Yea, he knows. He knows he's hurting the team. He knows he's making everything worse and that he isn't helpful. Hell, all he has to do is look in a fucking mirror or reread his dad's old letters that he kept for some reason to know that. 

"I..." A loud hiccup interrupts his stuttering, most likely from crying so hard.

Ryland moves one of his hands and starts to rub slow circles into the other's back. 

The older focuses on his breathing. 

"H-hey, come on, it's okay-"

Anger bursts it's way out and claws it's way up Alex's throat. 

"No, it's not Ryland! It's not fucking okay!" 

Ryland turns him around so that they are facing chest to chest. He moves his hands, one resting on Alex's cheek and the around his hip. 

"What's not okay?" 

Alex sobs even harder. He covers his face with his hands, dark curls bouncing wildly as he cries. 

"You! Me! This! The fact that I..that I fell in love with my best friend who only wants me off their couch. The fact that that everyone would rather have me get high or pass out than actually couch. The fact that I really just a fucking screw up just like everyone said."

His sobbing grows harsher and louder by the minute. Sounding as if he was a hurt animal rather than a human being. 

Ryland pulls him into another hug. Attempting to protect him from all sides. 

"You should have told me sooner."

Alex tries his damndest to push away but Ryland's always been stronger. So instead he just slumps against the younger man's chest, most likely getting snot and tears on his shirt.

"W-why? W-we never do anything bout our p-problems anyway.." 

Ryland pulls away slightly. 

"So I could've done this all those years ago." 

Alex was about to question him but then he was getting kissed. 

On the lips.

By his best friend.

Holy shit.

Alex melts into the touch as Ryland pulls him closer, their bodies flush against each other. 

A low whine vibrates in Alex's throat. 

Ryland chuckles and pulls away.

"Wow.." The older says between pants.

He looks at his long fingers which are twisted in Ryland's shirt, bunching up the fabric. 

He lets go of it and slowly pats the wrinkles away, looking off in the distance. 

Ryland stares at him in amusement. 

"Are you okay?" 

Alex pulls him in for another hug.

"I will be."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading   
If you like or want more leave comments and kudos


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